Action!

Yesterday I got blown up. Day before that, ejected through a windshield. Riddled with bullets. Chucked off a building, arms wheeling. You hardly noticed, but if I weren’t there, in your favorite action movie, you would. The depressing part is that it’s all real—I actually die each time. Never expected to be cast in this role, but frankly, I needed the work. Whether I’m a cop, a soldier, a villager, a zombie…I lose limbs, bleed out, get decapitated, infected, shredded, superheated, drowned, throat slit, boiled alive in a wizard’s cauldron. Just keep in mind that it hurts every single time.