Breaker Breaker

The first bone he broke—his pinky, after flying off his two-wheeler, age 6—he discovered $20 in his piggy bank. After breaking his femur while attempting to steal second base (failed, age 13), a crisp $100 appeared in his school locker. By college, he was papercutting between his fingers daily to support his clubbing-and-Xanax habit. A concussive fall during his 30th-birthday cruise netted him half a million from a Monaco casino that very evening. Constant pain, constant reward from some jester god. Tonight, having spent it all, he looks to the busy avenue 42 stories below. Down there, a fortune awaits.