Doggie

He’d always been a bit of a dog. Not as in a horny, douchey male, but as in, born with a vestigial tail (concealed by changing in toilet stalls in gym class), a thin layer of body fur (ditto), and an extraordinary sense of smell. These days, at his regular 9-to-5, no one knew how much he loved to mark telephone poles (surreptitiously), hump legs (blaming it on drinking), sniff crotches (fragrant as a perfectly charred cheeseburger), and fetch sticks (alone in his studio apartment). But today, he’d finally found a woman who enjoyed kibble as much as he did.