Final Score

Sorry you died! Let's tabulate your value and get you on your way. Oh, did you not realize that yes, you do either win or lose at life? What some call “superficial” is actually super-important. Big, gas-guzzling pickups score 3 points. Mansions get 8 to 13, depending on size. Yachts, sleeping around, gun ownership, Insta followers, and gold-plated toilets all score high. But the best thing you can do is be hot. We’re talking slim, blonde, toned abs, the works. Sorry, you learned a lot and volunteered in an animal shelter? I don’t even know what to do with that.