Freak in the Sheets

Talk about a freak in the sheets! My world’s been completely rocked—doubt I’ll ever be the same. For starters, when I jump in the air, it lasts about a quarter-second longer, which does make a difference. I see more variations in the color purple than before. Couldn’t solve Rubik's Cubes to save my life, but now it takes me two seconds max. Snapping my fingers creates fire (when I will it to be so). And I can breathe underwater—not quite at full fish level yet, but I’m working on it. Plus my blood is sentient now. Man, what a night.