Impervious

You're telling me nothing can harm you…emotionally? Now that’s a superpower. So what if, hypothetically, your partner left you for no apparent reason? Even then, you wouldn't be hurt? What about catching your dad cheating on your mom? Finding out your parents preferred your older sibling? Your favorite teacher giving up on you? Telling your grandma you hate her, but that’s the last thing you said before she died? What about the time I—er, my friend—accidentally pooped on the waterslide, and everyone saw it shoot out the bottom? Even then? You’re truly remarkable. We must do more research on you.