Matter™

Sorry to hear your new Matter™ isn't working for you, sir. Don’t worry, we’ll figure out the issue together. First, have you tried quickly reconstituting it? Apologies, had to check, you'd be surprised—most people don’t even know a covalent bond from an ionic one. Next, we're going to test the various phases—even plasma, Bose-Einstein condensates, and chain-melted. That’s a stable form between liquid and solid, which—okay, no dice. We’ll have to try the full reset: Please give it a sharp rap on the edge of a planet—a really good thwack. There, see? Told you we’d get her up and running.