My Alien Boyfriend

Yes, mom, I have an alien boyfriend. Does that bother you? Of course it does. They're just the same as us, and until people like you accept them, society can’t move forward. Okay, sure, they have two to four more heads, they see a different electromagnetic spectrum, they read minds. But both of us enjoy brainless action movies, and both of us love super-sweet Starbucks frappes. Granted, he sucks them up with—I think?—his reproductive organs, but he gets me. Maybe. Come to think of it, I'm not sure his maxillary palpus has ever pronounced my name correctly even once.