Prenatal

There’s no easy way to put this, Mr. and Ms. Delacruz: Our tests predict that your eight-week-old fetus will not be a genius. Yes, she’ll be excellent at math, a fantastic leader, and most likely have perfect pitch. But she’ll only be in the 90th percentile in terms of fast-twitch muscle fibers, a bit lower for reading comprehension, and not even in the upper quartile for height. So there’s virtually no way she’ll ever gain admission to top medical schools. Her money-earning ability should top out at $15 million/year—no billionaire potential here. Get ready for a disappointing life ahead.