Proud Mom

Being a mom is exhausting. Here’s what my day looked like:

Morning: Drop off my daughter Susie at school; avoid little Dennis Grayden since both his parents are missing (they’re being exsanguinated in my mountain cabin)

Noon: Attend company-wide training at my dull life-insurance job; solidify plans to “deal with” my manager over the long weekend

Evening: Enjoy pizza night with the fam; tell them I’m going for a drive; actually go to self-storage unit to finish sewing my new flesh-jackets

Night: Sleep tight, excited to see Susie’s cello solo at tomorrow’s talent show, and to extinguish her P.E. teacher