Tabula

Absolutely, we’re happy to get you a new replacement brain! So sorry you’re unhappy with the model we inserted last month; not sure what went wrong there. But all our brains come with a lifetime guarantee, so as before, we’ll start completely from scratch—like wiping a computer clean except for the operating system. All its memories, attachments, doubt, embarrassment, pain—gone. You’ll only retain your factual education and the basics of your name, parents’ names, etc. Now count down backwards from ten, and we’ll see you—well, the blank you, so not really you, but also kind of you—again in a jiffy.