Timpani

Some of the least dignified ways your body can be used after you die: Tossed into the Tiber. Used as feed at a Florida flamingo farm. Disemboweled, embalmed, and put in a Madame Tussauds wax museum (the Times Square one, the worst). Armpit hair fashioned into a hairbrush. Flesh made into assless chaps. Head used as hairdressing training head at the Manitoba Academy of Cosmetology. Neck and chest cavity used as porta potty at Bonnaroo. Skin stretched into a timpani for the Boston Symphony Orchestra’s upcoming John Williams soundtrack retrospective. On second thought, that one would actually be pretty cool.